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<\/p>\nHello, this is Frank.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s Part 2 of the free preview from my parody novella, Katta Aita: The Man Who Aimed for Eiken Grade 1<\/b><\/i>.<\/p>\n
This is unapologetically a parody. If you’re the type who takes life too seriously or gets offended easily, I highly recommend you don\u2019t read any further.<\/p>\n
But if you’re in for some good, silly fun\u2014enjoy the ride!<\/p>\n
\u3000\u3000\u3000<\/p>\n
Wednesday, August 3rd. Clear skies.
\nKatta, finishing work sluggishly as usual, blended into the crowd of salarymen and office ladies rushing home. He boarded the front car of the Hankyu line at Umeda, as it was closest to the exit at his stop, Kiyoshik\u014djin.<\/p>\n
“Aaah…”<\/p>\n
With a half-sigh and a drawn-out yawn, he glanced at his reflection in the window. \u201cWhat am I even doing with my life?\u201d he muttered to himself.<\/p>\n
Reaching into the right pocket of his coat, he felt the English book he\u2019d bought yesterday: \u201cYoshita Jordan\u2019s Wild \u2018n\u2019 Crazy English\u201d<\/i>. He opened to the preface.<\/p>\n \n\u201cHey, non-cool kid\u2014this book is your Columbus. You\u2019ve discovered a new world. Or maybe it\u2019s your Hakkenden. Did that make you laugh?\u201d<\/b>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Katta chuckled, despite himself.<\/p>\n \n\u201cIt\u2019s all a gamble! Like \u2018Hakke Yoi\u2014nokotta!\u2019\u201d<\/b>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n What on earth was that supposed to mean?<\/p>\n \n\u201cYou don\u2019t get it, do you? Language is just \u2018Transmission Achako!\u2019\u201d<\/b>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n The jokes felt outdated. He was about to close the book\u2014when bold red Gothic letters suddenly popped out:<\/p>\n \nIf this hits home, you better keep reading.<\/font><\/b>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Startled, he quickly turned the page.<\/p>\n \n\u201cEver had a foreigner ask you, \u2018Where panst? Where panst?\u2019 and you replied, \u2018No mind, no mind\u2019?\u201d<\/b>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Katta squinted.<\/p>\n \n\u201cActually, they were saying, \u2018Where\u2019s the bus stop?\u2019\u201d<\/b>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n It was a genuine lightbulb moment. Eyes gleaming, Katta flipped the page excitedly.<\/p>\n \u201cSir, this is the last stop.\u201d He arrived home about fifteen minutes later than usual.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened?\u201d his wife, Naiyo, asked with concern.<\/p>\n \u201cMissed my stop.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDinner\u2019s ready\u2014it\u2019s instant \u2018Moonrise Fried Noodles\u2019 tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh.\u201d<\/p>\n He entered their tiny, stuffy 4.5-tatami room, sweat already forming on his brow. Despite normally being frugal, he turned on the fan without hesitation.<\/p>\n Stripping down to just his underwear, he pulled out the English book again.<\/p>\n \n\u201cChapter 1: Wait\u2014are you actually reading Chapter 1? Incredible! That\u2019s a cosmic event, like the SOFA Agreement or a meteor strike. Most people toss this book after the preface. But you? You\u2019ve just joined the one-in-a-million elite.\u201d<\/b>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u201cHey, we don\u2019t have any vegetables,\u201d said Naiyo from the kitchen.<\/p>\n \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n \n\u201cHere\u2019s Today\u2019s Quote: \u2018If life doesn\u2019t move you, don\u2019t even try learning a language!\u2019 Not impressed? Then Kansai folks, take a bamboo sword to Kanto! And Kanto folks\u2026 well, no punchline yet. Wait\u2014I got it. You\u2019ll get disowned.\u201d<\/b>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Another dumb joke. Slightly irritated, Katta didn\u2019t close the book this time. He had a sense of pride now\u2014he was the one-in-a-million reader.<\/p>\n \n\u201cBut wait\u2014there\u2019s hope even for the unfeeling. That hope is\u2014\u201d<\/b>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u201cHope?\u201d he repeated aloud.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you on a business trip tomorrow?\u201d asked Naiyo.<\/p>\n \u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou said \u2018Nozomi\u2019\u2014thought you meant the bullet train.\u201d<\/p>\n Her old-school pun was oddly comforting to Katta.<\/p>\n \n\u201cYes, go to the Big Apple\u2014New York, baby!\u201d<\/b>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Wait\u2014what? Katta thought. Isn\u2019t this book meant for people who ‘can\u2019t’ go abroad to study English? Then what\u2019s the point of telling readers to fly to NYC?<\/p>\n He grew frustrated.<\/p>\n \u201cDinner\u2019s ready,\u201d Naiyo called out.<\/p>\n As he was about to close the book again, something mysterious happened\u2014a second uncanny coincidence.<\/p>\n To read the rest, click below:<\/p>\n
\nSnapping out of it, he realized he had missed his station and ended up at the line\u2019s terminal, Takarazuka. That was a first in his life\u2014missing a stop because he got too into a book.<\/p>\n
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